Karen's:))

Today I am walking around like, well... A zombie I suppose. I haven't slept in oh about 36 hours or something. And I don't even know why, I haven't tried to be awake or anything, actually I have done my best to sleep but.. I couldn't. BUT I feel there will be sleep in the nearest future!

But the up side of my temporary insomnia is that Michelle called me after work, like 00:30 or something. We haven't spoken since right after I came home, when Halil was away for 2 weeks which made it impossible to talk.  I didn't realize how much I actually miss my friends. We live in the same city, but still I am only here, doing nothing but wait for him every night. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE talking with him, if I go one night without talking to him I am saaaaad.... But I would like to spend some time with my friends again. We had a periode we lost contact, of course cause I traveled and saved, but before I went to Alanya me, Michelle, Erling and Roy FINALLY got back to our old friendship, of course right before I left for 3 months in Turkey. But it was nice, we were watching movies, we were childis at playgrounds and we all stayed at my place, I will say that 4 people at a 150x200 matress is not to recommend!!! :P   I was actually sad to leave for Turkey...
I love Turkey life....

Me and Michelle have a date on Wednesday, we will go out cause it's Wednesday-live here.
I am still surprised we are even friends. We have "known" each other since we were like 14-15.. Known OF each other anyway. And I promise that we have never liked each other, really never. Then we ended up in the same class when we were about 17-18. Still didn't like each other. Until one day in the early 2008 when we were the only ones online at each others MSN, we talked and we were both really bored, it was a Tuesday. Then we just decided that alcohol was the solution of our boreness and we went to her friends place, and then our friendship started. We had so much fun and we were together all the time. All of us.
Miss it so much.. It's like I previously have said, 2008 was REALLY the best time of my life.

Me and Halil have talked about some things, and I have really thought about it.. I decided I will not go to Alanya this summer. Not because I don't want to, but I will work and save up money so I can stay longer than 3 months AFTER the summer. It's worth the wait when we can be together face to face longer, instead of 3 months off-3 months on. And he was REALLY sweet... He has said since day 1. that he don't wanna be anywhere else than Alanya in the summer, that Alanya is his life in summertime and he don't like Gaziantep. He knows I have trust issues, and BIG ones... So he said "If you don't come in the summer, I can stay in Gaziantep if you want. I won't go to Alanya if you don't want".   So ok, this was the time I could have gotten my way, and make sure he would not be in Alanya without me. But I did not do that. I said that "I dont like that you will be there without me. I will be nervous, I will be skeptical.. But I can not be together with you if I don't trust you. So if you want to be in Alanya you should."  I was surprised by myself.

I have booked hotel for our first days in Marmaris. Our original plan was that we would stay some days in Antalya and then we would go to Marmaris, but Antalya was to expensive, so I said he could chose between us going to Alanya for a couple of days or going to Marmatis directly from the airport. Going to Marmaris directly is actually better for us, then he has 4 days to find an apartment for us. I am really exited. This is the first time I am counting DAYS! Just really counting the days until I can have his arms around me again. Then it will be worth all the waiting for sure:)

Other than that I have been carrying firewood today as the strong superwoman I am!  No but really my father asked if I could help with it. And of course I can not say no, I have been staying here for 2 1/2 month now, with free food, free internet, everything of shampoo and conditioner free.. So for that, I help as much as I can.   But it WAS strange for me to hear my mom say "Karen you have to clean your room today". I really felt like I was 16 again :P  And well, judging from my room, one would think I was. Clothes and books everywhere, exactly like when I was 16 :P

I haven't cleaned it yet... After all- I am 16 again ;)   Hehe..

But really.. I had a discussion in MSN with my friend. She said it was about time I got a baby, now that I am soon 24.. And evidently my answer made me "not normal".. I said I don't want children.
And I mean like, for ever. Does one HAVE to have children to be normal?  I don't want that responsibility, and I am not good with children either. LUCKILY Halil agrees with me on this subject. I don't feel like I am any less normal just because I don't wanna have a baby.  Well, people can really have their own oppinions, but I am not having a baby to please the majority :D