Karen's:))

Well, I officially hate this internet. Something is shit wrong and it's going slower than a Turk saying a time (they never come on time). I think it's because of this mobile internet, they say that after so many GB pr.month, the speed reduces. I just pray to my god that it doesn't affect video calls in MSN, cause I don't know what I will do without being able to see and talk to Halil, it's like the light of my day, the only thing I am looking forward to these days.

I have gotten questions from people about "Is it not boring to have your boyfriend in another country?"
And the answer to that is very easy... Yes, it is very boring. It is horrible not being able to see him when I want, it is terrible that it cost so much money just to be with him. It's awful that he can't come here to stay with me and that I can not live there with him at the moment. It is painful to miss him every day. But what can I do about it? All I can do is wait. Cause when we are finally together, it is worth all the pain, all the missing... I guess I should have been used to the wait by now, but I think that I will never really get used to it. It's as hard now as it was 4 1/2 years ago. 


And of course there is those who say he is guaranteed to cheat on me since he is Turk (or actually Kurd) and everyone is the same there. And why I don't think about that.


Well of course I think about it, I am not an idiot who believe Alanya is full of sunshine and rainbows. But I am not a tourist anymore either. I could not be with him if he was working in a disco for example. I don't say I think all Turks that work there is the same (but almost!!!), but I already have trust issues so, it would not be possible to make it work with my jealousy mixed with his..


I also trust him until he proves me otherwise, and lying to me is close to impossible. That's the upside of having two exes that I would categorize as pathological liars. But to this date, he has proven to be honest. He could have gone back to Alanya when I left, while it was still season, he was suppose to stay in Gaziantep 2 weeks. But he is still there and he will stay there until I am coming. In the summer he will go to Alanya, but unlike my ex he wants me to be there, and we will stay together. 


I also hear, as I heard when I was together with Hasan and Sercan too, that he will control me and try to be my boss, and he will be violent, such as that.


And what I can say to that is that people who have opinions like this do not know what they are talking about. There will always be ignorant- prejudging people, no way around that. But the fact of the matter is that ever since we met, almost 4 months ago, he has been great to me. I have said much shit, I have even hit him, but still he has been on my side. Even when I told him I would never leave Hasan for him, even when I said I would never be his, he was there. When I was sad about Hasan, he came. When I didn't want anything more than friendship, he respected that. When I said things to make him angry or jealous (yea I did) he still didn't leave. And I said some of the worst things you can ever say to a Kurd, I will not repeat it. 


He is not perfect, he has said things to make me jealous and angry too. But he has spent every second of every day with me, and I love him, and he loves me. So if someone has a problem with that, get your brains checked:)))) 


Last but not least, it's the famous "he will just want you for visa to Norway and your money"


If that was true, he would be eager to get married. But guess what, he's not. It's not- and it will never be, a subject for us. We won't get married, we will make our relationship work in Turkey, and that's how it's gonna be. 


And what money? All I have is what I save for Turkey, barely enough to make it there. So that's also not a problem. Who spent all his money on me? Halil. He never asked for my money, he never even asked how much I make. But I told him, and he knows I am close to broke. 


So, screw all prejudging people :)