Karen's:))

Things are getting a little better now.. I am trying to not think so much about what CAN go wrong. I am nervous still, of course, and I cannot really relax but what can I do anyway?


Mehmet left today, this morning. We told him he had to and now I am feeling so bad. I really like Mehmet, he is a funny person, but the thing is that Halil's father sent 200 TL with him from Gaziantep, that he was suppose to give us, but he spent it on himself instead.. Then he came here, without any money, and he have stayed for 5 days with no money, and we simply cannot afford to pay for 3 people in food, alcohol and  cigarettes (I don't smoke but Halil does).. But still I feel like crap cause I am  not the kind of person that likes to ask my friends to leave. Specially when he doesn't have money. Now I cant stop thinking about him and I even feel like crying. I KNOW I haven't done anything wrong but still it feels that way. We have so much fun with him and he is nice to be around, but when he first spent our money on himself, then we have to pay for EVERYTHING, it's just too much. We have SO little money already. Specially now.. We have 100 TL the next 2 weeks, cause we have house rent and electric now... GOOOOOD... But still, I cant stop thinking of Mehmet and what a crappy friend I feel like now.


F*ck...